Come spaventare un italiano in 7 semplici mosse

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Come spaventare un italiano in 7 semplici mosse

Sei mai andato al bar a ordinare un cappuccino dopo le 11 a.m. oppure dopo pranzo e la gente ti guardava strano? Well, questa è una delle cose da non fare in Italia. Ecco alcuni “tips and tricks” da una studentessa straniera per i suoi simili in modo da integrarsi al meglio possibile in Italia.

Ecco sette cose che non dovresti fare in Italia:

1. Sì, il famoso cappuccino dopo pranzo o, peggio ancora, durante il pranzo. Ricordo ancora oggi il primo giorno all’Università della Tuscia quando ordinai un cappuccino intorno le 15. La signora al bar rimase un po’ scioccata ed io capii pienamente cosa volesse dire quella espressione. Mai più cappuccino dalle 11 a.m. in poi.
2. Starbucks? Dimenticati questo nome. A parte il fatto che lo trovi solo a Milano, il caffè realizzato presso quella struttura contravviene le tradizioni secolari della preparazione del caffè italiano. Meglio scegliere un piccolo bar nel centro storico e optare per un espresso. Oppure fai come faccio io, ordino il caffè macchiato e poi aggiungo quanto latte voglio (di nascosto, per non traumatizzare del tutto la gente attorno).
3. Non so nei vostri Paesi, ma nel mio, anche se è vietato dalla legge, alle persone piace lasciare i propri autografi dappertutto (tranne che nei posti giusti): sui monumenti, sulle sedie, sui palazzi. Don’t you dare do that in Italy. No, assolutamente no. È un vero e proprio reato e la pena è una multa dai 300 ai 1.000 euro. Direi che è meglio investire quei soldi in un bel viaggio per l’Italia.
4. Mi raccomando, non saltare il pranzo! Intendo quello in base all’orario italiano dalle 12:30 alle 15:00 perché poi, probabilmente, non troverai alcun ristorante aperto. Me ne sono resa conto durante i miei primi giorni qui, quando avrei voluto pranzare intorno le 16, ma il pellegrinaggio alla ricerca di un locale aperto è risultato inutile.
5. Non sono io una grande cuoca, ma alcune cose le ho imparate da quando vivo in Italia. Se ti capita qualche volta di cucinare con gli italiani, non rompere mai gli spaghetti, ripeto, mai! Vietato, non da qualche legge scritta, ma dalle norme consuetudinarie consolidate nel corso dei secoli.
6. Un’altra regola alimentare: il parmigiano nei piatti di pesce. Una combinazione fatale paragonabile al reato di alto tradimento o, peggio ancora, all’ananas sulla pizza.
7. Occorre parlare del famoso quarto d’ora accademico, ovvero del fatto che le lezioni iniziano 15 minuti più tardi dell’orario previsto. (E io che arrivavo 20 minuti prima e poi aspettavo 35 minuti che la lezioni iniziasse). Tant’è vero che il quarto d’ora accademico viene applicato in tutte le situazioni quotidiane, non solo all’Università. Quindi, se fai 5 minuti di ritardo, no worries, probabilmente dovrai ancora aspettare altri 15 minuti l’altra persona.

Attenzione! È da tenere presente che l’informazione appena esposta è un pamphlet, una serie di stereotipi che enfatizzano le specificità del Paese e delineano la sua identità. Ovviamente, vivendo in uno stato democratico ed europeo, se ordini un grande cappuccino alle 15, nessuno ti giudicherà (solo il barista, e la gente attorno e…tutti gli altri che ti vedranno).

Ariadna Bulat
@ariadna.bulat

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